After far too much consultation with Reddit threads (and some light ChatGPT intervention), I am now the proud owner of an LLC. That’s right—I paid $300 to our state bureaucracy for a certificate and a sense of legitimacy. What am I doing with it? Excellent question. The vision is still fuzzy around the edges, but it’s slowly taking shape, one bureaucratic form at a time.
In other news, I am no longer living in a muffled cave. After nearly two months, my hearing has finally returned, which means I can now participate in meetings without leaning halfway across the table or making the dean repeat herself on a three-time loop. Consider it a small but meaningful victory in the category of “basic human function restored.”
The House of Slade LLC
Since filing with the state, I’ve been trying to figure out how exactly to market myself. For now, I’m operating under the title of “Aesthetic Consultant,” which is apparently what the state thinks I am. This week I drafted three package types: personal, corporate, and interior.
Or, as Meg phrased it, I essentially paid to become a registered hater. Accurate. If I can turn my natural ability to critique into a service, then so be it. And if the consulting angle collapses and it all just becomes an interior design business, that’s fine too. The structure was set up with exits built in.
Vivi Updates…
Here’s Vivi, parked firmly on Abbey’s suitcase—as if her sheer presence could stop the flight to Ireland. She’s getting bigger by the day, and her fur is starting to grow in longer. What she doesn’t know is that tonight’s agenda includes a bath and a pedicure. She tolerates both surprisingly well, though I’m under no illusion it’s because of anything other than the peanut butter bribe she gets afterward.
I’ve also started the search for a “big girl” harness, and apparently the entire market is dedicated to making dogs look ridiculous. Ideally, I’d just put her in a cream leather collar with a single diamond and let her run free across an expansive fenced estate, but instead we’re making do with the realities of apartment living.
Happenings
I’ve been making the most of the last stretch of summer before students fully take over Grounds again. The in-between weather is tolerable—pleasant, even—as long as it doesn’t creep above 73 degrees.
Here I am at Veritas, enjoying the sunshine. In my opinion, it’s one of the most underrated wineries around. Pippin is… fine. Just fine. Maybe the view redeems it more in spring or fall. King Family, on the other hand, always feels a little too stuffy—borderline corporate. Not sure how else to put it.
Abbey and I tried the Momentarius, a blend of Chardonnay, Viognier, Sauvignon Blanc, and Petit Manseng. The winemaker describes tasting it as an experience on par with hearing that JFK was shot or that the Twin Towers fell. An interesting take, to say the least.
Random side note: look at how pretty this painting is. I didn’t get the artist’s name, or who the subject is, but it’s hard not to think about how much better people used to dress. Yes, corsets were oppressive and only a select few could maintain this kind of presentation—but the elegance, the structure, the sheer intentionality of it all. Now we settle for convenience and stretch fabrics, and the art of getting dressed feels like it’s slipped away.
I went out Saturday night and immediately felt like a walking bag of bones surrounded by students who all looked barely legal. Shockingly, I even spotted people 40+ at the block party—which is supposedly for undergrads. I wouldn’t wish that fate on my worst enemy.
Abbey wanted to see what I looked like with my hat on backwards and, disturbingly, I kind of understood it. Obviously, I’d never be caught dead wearing it that way unironically, but for one night it was tolerable.
Woman of the Week:
I have been missing out on highlighting my woman of the week recently! This week is the one and only… Keke Palmer.
Lately I’ve been listening to her podcast, especially the recent interview with image architect Law Roach. I had no idea they had a professional relationship, which made it even more interesting.
Beyond being funny and gorgeous, what really stands out to me is her work ethic and the way she stays involved without getting dragged into endless drama (at least as far as I know—hopefully I haven’t missed a scandal). The other day she was talking about being a millionaire but not acting like one, and I respect that. She’s sneaky rich, and it works. Honestly, I am sure it’s pretty great being her kid.
Also: she and SZA need to reunite for another movie, because One of Them Days was peak comedy. Sequel, please.
I can see Keke sticking around for a long time and staying relevant—maybe even carving out a bigger lane as a red-carpet interviewer or cultural commentator down the line.
I hope everyone’s getting excited for pumpkin spice season—I know I am. I already had my first Dunkin’ of the year, and shockingly, it didn’t taste like its usual dishwater. Small victories.
xoxo, Dustin Slade